3 Secrets To Successfully Talk To Yourself

Photo by marsmet543

Photo by marsmet543

You Are A Mental Chatterbox

When you woke up this morning, what were you thinking about? Were you thinking about what you needed to do to get yourself ready to go into work? Were you thinking about your kids’ school activities? Were you planning out your to-do list for work?

If so, then you were talking to yourself. We all do it, and we do it constantly.

We are regularly asking ourselves various questions inside our minds. Some of us are really good at this process. We ask quality questions and seek out positive solutions to those quality questions.

Many of us, though, are challenged in this area. We ask horrible questions and receive even worse answers to our questions.

Top performers and high achievers understand this important principle, and certainly you can too with a little help!

3 Secrets To Better Self-Talk

  1. Ask Better Questions. The foundation for asking better questions of yourself is staying positive. As soon as we turn negative, we start asking all the wrong questions in a negative manner and we shoot ourselves in the foot. We can also end up asking ourselves bad questions that don’t even really have an answer. These type of questions put us in a negativity loop instead of positive solutions. Let me give you an example. “Why is this happening to me?” I used to ask this question a lot during difficult days and circumstances. While asking this question may reveal a deep-rooted problem that needs to be addressed, most of the time this question is not very constructive. Outside negative circumstances will impact our lives occasionally, and there’s really not much we can do about it. In this moment, we can attempt to redirect our subconscious mind to start asking better questions such as, “What I can be thankful for in spite of these circumstances?” Or, “What can I learn through this difficulty?” Or, “How can I use this situation to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually?” There’s always a better question to be asked of ourselves.
  2. Seek Better Answers. Let’s go back to my “Why is this happening to me?” example. As I just mentioned, from time to time, we will be impacted by negative, undesired circumstances. There won’t be much we can do about external forces outside of our control. So, we need to flip this around and start asking better questions, such as the examples I gave above. Then, we allow these questions to lead us to better answers. “I can use this difficulty to grow in my faith with Christ,” “I can use these challenging circumstances to get emotionally healthy,” and so on.
  3. Continuously Monitor and Change. This step is where it gets difficult. Most of the time, we are blissfully unaware of these mental conversations we are having with ourselves. We are running on autopilot. We have default conversations that are not constructive. We need to be proactive in monitoring these conversations as well as reprogramming our default modes. Knowing that these conversations are taking place in our minds is half the battle. Once you realize you’re asking negative questions and receiving negative answers, then you can attempt to move your mental discussion to a more positive level.

Questions: Have you ever considered the impact your mental conversations have on your personal performance? What do you need to do to move your personal self-talk to a more positive, high performance level.

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